Strengthening Marriages
SPEECH BY MELVIN YONG (MP FOR RADIN MAS SMC) AT THE 2ND READING OF THE WOMEN’S CHARTER (AMENDMENT) BILL ON 10 JAN 2022
1. Mr Speaker, I stand in support of the Bill, which seeks to improve marriage processes for couples and incorporate therapeutic justice elements into the divorce proceedings. However, I have some clarifications and suggestions.
Going upstream to strengthen marriages
2. Sir, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) has proposed a major amendment to the divorce process, by introducing a sixth fact of Divorce by Mutual Agreement of the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, or DMA for short.
3. DMA is essentially a “no-fault divorce”, which enables couples to take joint responsibility for the breakdown of their marriage. The rationale for introducing such a concept, as explained by the MSF, arose from feedback from divorcees that having to cite one of the current fault-based facts as the reason for divorce, dregs up unhappy memories and can cause the divorce proceedings to turn acrimonious, thus making it detrimental to the emotional well-being of their children. In essence, however, it can be argued that DMA makes the divorce process easier.
4. Sir, as a Catholic, I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I was taught that marriages are meant to be sacred and lasting. The divorce process should not be made too easy as we want couples to work through their problems that will inevitably crop up in any marriage. Major challenges, such as struggling to care for their first new-born who refuses to stop crying in the middle of the night, or the financial squeeze that couples with young children and elderly parents to care for, are par for the course. These are everyday marital problems and we should provide couples with the tools to resolve communication issues, instead of making divorce a simple straightforward solution.
5. However, as a grassroots leader and former police officer, I have also seen cases of how being trapped in an unhappy marriage can be damaging on a person’s wellbeing — emotionally, mentally, and at times, even physically. That is why, despite my personal views on marriage, I can understand and appreciate the introduction of the DMA.
6. That being said, we should do more to intervene upstream to help strengthen marriages, so that we prevent relationships from deteriorating to the point where couples have to contemplate divorce.
More extensive marriage preparation courses
7. For example, MSF could make marriage preparation courses more extensive, and I would even argue — mandatory. Before I got married, my wife-to-be and I had to attend the Marriage Preparation Course conducted by the Church. The course, which comprised of six sessions, taught us the fundamentals of a healthy marriage, and equipped us with tools to work out our differences in a constructive way.
8. While there are marriage preparation programmes on the market, most seem to emphasise on how couples can be equipped with the right tools in as little time as possible, with some courses taking just two weekends. I wonder if this is truly sufficient to prepare two distinct individuals to live together for the rest of their lives.
9. Currently, MSF only mandates marriage preparation courses if the marriage involves someone below the age of 21. I would suggest that a comprehensive marriage preparation programme be put together and for marrying couples of all ages to be strongly encouraged to participate.
Regular marriage health check-ups
10. Sir, another suggestion on how we can do more upstream to strengthen marriages is to have regular check-ups on the health of our marriages, particularly newer marriages. Many of us go for a regular health check-up, sometimes yearly, sometimes once every two years. Why not have a regular check-up for our marriages too?
11. According to a report from the MSF, which tracked 29 cohorts of marriages between 1987 and 2015, more divorces are happening during the earlier years of a couple’s marriage, with the highest proportion of couples ending their marriages between years 5 to 10. Why is this so? Is it linked to certain key life moments that changed the dynamics of the relationship?
12. I hope that the MSF could make marriage therapy more affordable and more accessible, so that we can help couples take stock of their relationships and strengthen their marriages. Perhaps we could go a step further and subsidise marriage therapy for couples who are between the fifth to tenth year of their marriage, since this seems to be a critical period where marriages are vulnerable and divorce cases are at their highest.
When divorce becomes an option on the table
13. Mr Speaker, in the unfortunate event that the marriage does genuinely break down and divorce becomes a real option on the table, we should still try our best to mend the relationship. This could be done through mandatory pre-divorce counselling programmes.
14. Currently, pre-divorce counselling is only mandatory for parents with minor children before they file for divorce, and is designed to encourage divorcing couples make informed decisions that prioritise the well-being of children. Can the MSF consider mandatory pre-divorce counselling for all couples who cite unreasonable behaviour as their reason for the divorce, and in future, couples who cite DMA as the reason for divorce.
Supporting single mothers in employment opportunities
15. Sir, we should also better support single mothers who may need help in securing jobs or finding jobs that will allow them to support themselves and their children.
16. In cases where the wife was a homemaker, it can be difficult for them to re-enter the workforce easily as their skillsets may not be updated. In this regard, the NTUC has been working with our affiliated unions, the Employment and Employability Institute, and the NTUC Learning Hub, to support single mothers by bringing employment and training opportunities to them. I encourage all single mums who need help returning to the workplace to turn to the Labour Movement for support.
17. Single mothers also have less familial support when it comes to caregiving and will require more support in helping them balance their careers and caregiving duties. In Radin Mas, we partnered with the Singapore Manufacturing Federation (SMF) to launch the Jobs Closer to Home Programme in 2021, to help mothers with caregiving responsibilities find jobs that are closer to home, so that they can balance work and their roles as a mother. This has helped some single mothers in my constituency to gain meaningful employment, and I hope that this can be scaled nationally. I would also like to call on the Action for Alliance on Work Life Harmony to look at how companies can implement more flexible work arrangements specifically catered to single parents, so that we can help them to be the best parent that they can be to their children.
Strengthening defence against fake divorces
18. Finally, we also need to take steps to strengthen the institution of marriage against couples who seek a divorce merely in name, for monetary or other benefits. For example, when the most recent round of property cooling measures were introduced by the Ministry of National Development, there emerged some online chatter advising, encouraging couples seeking to own multiple properties to decouple and divorce in name just to avoid the Additional Buyers’ Stamp Duties!
19. The proposed additions to Section 95 of the Women’s Charter will allow for couples to divorce by mutual agreement, and I worry that this will become a loophole for sham divorces. How would the Ministry identify such cases, and are there penalties that will arise as a result of such fake divorces?
Conclusion
20. In conclusion, the proposed amendments to the Women’s Charter are aimed at making divorce proceedings less acrimonious and help ex-couples co-parent better. But it has also made divorce easier, inadvertently eroding the sanctity of marriage. We should do more upstream to help strengthen marriages and prevent relationships from breaking down, through mandatory and extensive marriage preparation programmes, and make marriage therapy cheaper and more accessible.
21. Sir, I support the Bill.
